


Finding Family

by PoeticJustice84



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010) RPF
Genre: Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticJustice84/pseuds/PoeticJustice84
Summary: While filming Hawaii 5-0, Alex and Scott start a relationship. Alex is abducted, beaten, and raped. While trying to recover from that trauma, old memories resurface, forcing Alex to open up to Scott and his family more than he ever thought he could.





	1. Chapter One

Scott stood against the bedroom door jamb, crossed his arms over his bulky chest, and sighed. Alex had finally fallen into a fitful sleep, leaving his human pillow stuck in place. Meeting blue eyes that matched his own, Scott pushed off the door jamb and slipped into the room intending to give his father a break.  
“Want to trade places?”  
James ran his long fingers through Alex’s dark, wavy hair and debated his options. His legs were numb and half asleep already, but the kid was finally, blessedly asleep. He wasn’t going to interrupt that relief now. The boy needed all the rest and recuperation he could get.  
“I’m alright. I don’t want to move him.”  
Scott had never been so thankful for anyone in his entire life. He would never be able to express how much he appreciated his father for all he was doing for his lover. The rape, while horrific, had brought up some old memories for Alex that made Scott want to commit murder. The nightmares and flashbacks were almost as bad for him as they were for Alex. It was just sheer dumb luck his father had chosen this particular month to fly out for a visit. The man really was a Godsend. He had been holding them both together since.  
Sitting on the bed, Scott placed his hand gently on his lovers’ hip and hated how boney it felt. Alex rarely slept, and barely ate now. The man was beyond exhausted. Hell, all three of them were.  
“You should sleep while you can, kid.”  
Scott shook his head. What if Alex needed him?  
“What if he has another nightmare? What if he wakes up thinking he’s back in that alley again?”  
James felt his gut flip at the thought of what Alex and, in turn Scotty had been through. It just wasn’t right.  
“At least rest for a while.”  
Whatever Scott had been about to say was interrupted by the scream that erupted from Alex’s throat. Without conscious thought, Scott moved further onto the bed and tenderly wrapped his arms around his lover, all the while whispering softly to the taller man.  
“I’ve got you, babe. I’m here. It’s Scott. You’re safe now, babe. Pop, would you grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator? Alex, it’s just me, babe. I’m here and you’re safe.”  
James listened to the litany until he headed down the stairs. Once in the kitchen, he leaned against the counter and took a deep breath to steady himself, before grabbing the water and heading back up the stairs. His own heart broke just thinking about the situation. Alex had been taken, beaten, and sexually assaulted. Scott had driven himself mad for the entire five days Alex had been missing. Now both were in dire need of so much the older man really had no clue where to start. He supposed the little things would help the most.  
Scott felt Alex tense in his arms the very moment his father stepped back into the room, carrying not one, but two bottles of water. Alex’s wild eyes tracked his every movement. Scott knew the exact moment Alex realized he was indeed safe. His breathing changed and his whole body sagged.  
“You need anything else?”  
Scott shook his head as his father handed over the water. What could he say? He needed Marty and Doc so he could go back in time and make sure this never happened? He could just hear himself now asking his father for a “flux capacitor”, the old man would have him committed for sure.  
Uncapping one of the water bottles, James waited until Alex’s hands were steady before handing it over, careful not to let his touch linger. The trauma therapist had warned them about that, along with some other things.  
“Thank you.”  
Alex’s words were so quiet, had they not been sitting beside him, they would have missed them.  
“You want to try to sleep some more, babe?”  
“No! No. I…I…”  
James couldn’t take it any longer. Sure, his reputation in Hollywood was a little…crazy, but the man himself could not just sit by and watch the man his son loved hurt like he was. With the parental instincts honed by five children, the older man tapped the scruffy chin and tilted the brilliant eyes up to meet his.  
“Why don’t you and Scotty go out onto the lanai and get some air while I fix lunch? Let the dogs run for a while. And don’t even start with that I’m not hungry bullshit. I haven’t seen you eat in days. You’re eating something.”  
Scott, noticing Alex’s lack of argument, smirked. Good to know he wasn’t the only one who could be cowed by the old man. Also, worth noting, was just how his father was treating Alex. Sure the, Pop, I’m not exactly strait conversation had happened years ago, but until now, Scott had never let any of his male lovers meet his father. He thought that might have been a mistake now. The tenderness in the gestures reminded Scott of the way the old man interacted with him and his siblings. Tears formed in his eyes and he was more than glad that Alex couldn’t see him. The big warm hand on his cheek told him his father could though.  
“We’re going to get though this. It won’t be easy or pretty, but it’ll happen. Now, get out of here. While you’re out there, you might want to start returning all those phone calls. People are concerned. They’ve seen and heard things via the news and gossip. Tell them the truth. Especially your family, Alex!”  
Scott grinned as he maneuvered Alex’s giant frame out onto the lanai. James Caan was, as Scott had always known, a big softy.


	2. Finding Family Chap. 2

Scott grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and headed for the door. He was stopped short, though, as he watched his boyfriend laugh softly at something his father had said. Laughing was something that had definitely been missing from their lives lately. With his hands wrapped around a coffee mug, Alex still looked shell shocked. Much less so than the day he had been found, but still it hurt to see the shadows in those bright eyes. It hurt knowing Alex had been terrorized and he had been powerless to stop it. It hurt knowing someone in his lover’s past had hurt him just as deeply and he had not been there to do anything about that, either. He knew it was irrational, but at the moment, that’s how he felt. He could do something now though. He could make damn sure Alex had all the love and support he needed to get through this.  
“Either of you two yahoos need anything while I’m out?”  
James looked up from his own coffee and met his son’s exhausted eyes before shaking his head no.   
“You want anything, kid?”  
Alex muttered a quiet no thank you, not realizing Scott had crossed the kitchen floor headed in his direction.   
Throwing an arm around his boyfriend, Scott planted a kiss to the top of his dark head and then pecked his father on the cheek.  
“Love you both!”  
The only sound left was the door clicking shut as Scott left.   
“He’s like a whirlwind, my kid.”  
“He’s amazing. I’ve never met anyone like him. He just totally blew me away the first day.”  
James listened to Alex extol the virtues of Scotty for almost fifteen minutes. It was the most animated he had seen the younger man in since he arrived. When he stood to refill both coffee cups and head out onto the lanai, he gently squeezed the muscled shoulder and sighed. Alex, as in love with Scott as he was, had no idea how remarkable the boy was.   
“What has Scotty told you about his childhood? Come sit with me and let me tell you exactly what kind of man my son is.”  
Alex followed the older Caan outside and sat. He marveled at how comfortable this felt, how safe. This felt like he could do or say anything, and it would be okay.   
“Did Scott really go after your drug dealer with a baseball bat?”  
James sat his coffee mug down on the small table and barked out a deep laugh.   
“Even at fifteen, that damn kid had a set of balls on him. I knew then I had to stop. My kids didn’t deserve that. They needed a father, not some strung out mess. Hell, who am I kidding? I’m still a damn mess. But somehow, Scott just accepts that and loves me anyway. That’s the thing about him. He’s got this giant heart that just takes people in and shelters them. No questions asked. Is that how you two got together?”  
Alex sipped his coffee and grinned.   
“Scott just kind of swooped in and started taking care of me before I even knew what he was doing. He just seemed to see right through me, I guess. At first, I hated it. I’d spent years pushing people away. Then here he came and broke down all my walls without even really trying.”  
James glanced out at the ocean and thought about his children. He had wonderful, healthy relationships with all of them now. He had Scott to thank for that, he knew.   
“Scotty…is probably the strongest person I know. He’s had to be. He’s also one of the most caring people I’ve ever met and he’s unequivocally in love with you.”  
“I love him. More than he knows, I think.”  
“Want to know what I think?”  
“You’re probably going to tell me regardless, so fire away.”  
“I think I need to start breakfast.”  
Grabbing his mug, James laid his big hand on the back of Alex’s neck. There was still some tension there, but the kid no longer flinched at the touches. He seemed to melt into them now. It made James wonder if the boy might be a little touch starved. If he had done nothing else right, he had freely given his affection to his kids.   
“Any preferences?”  
“Waffles?”  
“Waffles it is.”


	3. Finding Family Chap. 3

“Please! Not again! Please stop! No more!”   
Hands! Big, rough hands, everywhere. They ran down the length of his body, leaving a scorching path. Back up to his face and down again. This time stopping to grab his buttocks roughly, parting his cheeks, and…

The terrified scream had Scott bolting upright out of bed. Seeing Alex curled into himself against the headboard, Scott slid over to him and waited until those shiny eyes to finally see him.   
“Hey, babe. Look at me. Right here.”  
When Alex’s watery eyes met his, Scott pulled him into his lap and held him until the tremors wracking his sweaty body subsided. Pulling back, Scott saw the tears still streaming down Alex’s beautiful angular face. Brushing the tears away with his thumbs, Scott kissed the eyelids just above those impossibly long lashes and debated getting up to get a wet cloth from the bathroom.   
As if sensing his thoughts, Alex wrapped himself tighter around his boyfriend and sighed.  
“I can still feel the hands on me!”  
“The only hands on you are mine, babe. And I would never hurt you. Feel that? That’s my hand in your hair. And those are my fingers on your neck, sliding down your back. My lips on your wrists. You are so safe and loved, Alex. Right here.”  
Scott felt Alex’s erratic breathing slow to a manageable level, then. He kept his fingers featherlight on the still rigid back, though, unwilling to pull away completely. Finally, Alex eased himself back and wiped his face with the heel of his hand, giving Scott the time to grab a damp cloth from the bathroom.   
Wiping the tear tracks from Alex’s face, Scott smiled and smoothed the soft cloth down his tattooed arms and chiseled torso. Alex shivered. Reaching behind him, Scott grabbed the blanket and gently wrapped it around his shoulders, then ran his hands down Alex’s long arms.  
“Want something to drink?”  
Alex looked up through those ridiculously long lashes and opened his mouth, then promptly closed it again.  
“Contrary to popular belief, I cannot, in fact, read your mind. I need actual words, babe.”  
“Tea?”  
The almost silent request broke Scott’s heart. It almost seemed like Alex was afraid to ask for anything. He needed to get Alex talking about the nightmare. But first, tea.”  
“Be right back.”  
Scott jumped a mile as he slipped out of the bedroom.   
“Fuck, Pop, you scared the shit out of me!”  
James steadied his son and peaked around the door jamb and into the bedroom.  
“Is he alright? What happened?”  
Finally recovered from the shock of finding another human being standing in his hallway, Scott muttered something about nightmares and headed to the kitchen.  
“Stay with him, please?”  
Scott didn’t wait to see if his father moved toward Alex. He knew the old man would definitely want to check on him. He had some tea to make. Grabbing the kettle, Scott set about making Alex’s tea. Leaning up against the countertop, he wondered what this particular nightmare was about. Maybe after the tea, Scott could convince Alex to talk abut it. And maybe, there was ocean front property in Arizona for sale.   
With the tea, bottled water, and something for the headache he was sure Alex had after all the crying, he headed back to the bedroom. He heard them, before he even entered the bedroom. His father’s calm tone seeming to soothe Alex’s more frantic one.   
“I come bearing gifts.”  
Scott saw the worry in his father’s eyes before he ever sat the tray on the nightstand. He was certain his eyes reflected the same concern. He didn’t show Alex any of that as he handed over the warm lavender tea and convinced him to take the mild pain relievers.   
“Lavender?”  
“Might help you relax and get back to sleep. Or if you want to talk, we can do that, too.”   
“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, you know? This isn’t my first rodeo with…with being assaulted.”  
“You are absolutely right. But I am you boyfriend and I love you. I want to take care of you while you deal with all this shit.”  
“You don’t have to do that, though.”   
“Those monsters didn’t have to hurt you either, but they did. Alex, I have loved you since the day I met you and I love you now. Just let me.”  
Alex nodded before he finished his tea. He would not cry again. He would not. Okay, apparently, he would. With Scott’s arms wrapping around him again, he let himself be guided back down onto the bed.  
“Either of you need anything before I head back to bed?”  
“Please, stay. It just feels safer. I know it’s stupid and I’m sorry.”  
James slowly sat in the overstuffed chair beside the bed and took Alex’s free hand in his own, massaging as he did so, hoping the pressure points there would help the kid relax enough to get back to sleep.   
“Don’t apologize for what’s been done to you, son. Just take deep breaths and rest, kid.”  
Alex was out again before he could take his third deep breath, Scott noticed. He was sure a combination of the lavender tea, the Excedrin, and the hand massage had done it. He hated that Alex still didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk the assault, but he was so glad to have his father there to lean on when things inevitably went sideways.  
“Thanks for everything you’re doing for him, Pop.”  
Watching as James snagged a blanket from the foot of the bed, Scott followed his lover into sleep, safe in the knowledge that nothing could get to Alex with Sonny Corleone on guard.


	4. Finding Family Chap. 4

Scott watched as his boyfriend stopped to catch his breath before taking off at warp speed again. Rest, the doctors had said. Recuperate, heal. As usual, Alex had ignored those instructions in favor of his own bullheaded logic. And here he was, doing laps around the compound, and whatever martial art he felt might help him forget the whole terrible experience he was currently running from.   
The glass of lemonade that was pressed into his hand was cold, startling him out of his thoughts. Looking to his left, he saw his father watching Alex as well, sipping his own drink.  
“Should he be doing any of this?”  
“Not at all.”  
“So, we’re just going to let him continue?”  
“Yep.”  
“Why?”  
“He has to figure things out for himself. We could talk until we’re blue in the face, and he still wouldn’t stop.”  
“Sounds like someone else I know.”  
“You trying to say I’m stubborn, Pop?”  
“I would never.”  
“Yeah well, it’s a family trait, just so you know.”  
“Good. He’s going to need you to be stubborn to get through this. He still won’t really talk about it will he?”  
“No. Every time I try to bring it up, he takes off. He still isn’t really sleeping and eating seems like a chore for him. I don’t know what to do.”  
James threw an arm around Scott’s shoulders and pulled him close. He hated seeing his boy so distraught. He hated seeing Alex bottle everything up like nothing was wrong.   
“Call the therapist.”  
“I did. She’ll be here after lunch.”  
James barked out a laugh.  
“What are you going to tell Alex?”  
“The truth. That I’m concerned. That he isn’t really dealing with any of this and that’s not healthy.”  
“He’ll be pissed.”  
“I don’t care, Pop! I can’t just watch him struggle with this. Every time he wakes up screaming, fighting battles I can’t even see; I just want to cry. Fuck! He didn’t deserve any of this.”  
James waited until Scott’s breathing had calmed before he spoke.  
“I just don’t want you to take it to heart when he completely loses his shit.”  
“I won’t. I know how he operates. Besides, his mother and stepfather will be here. Their plane lands in about an hour.”  
James laughed out loud.  
“You’re just going for broke today aren’t you, kid?”  
“I have to do something. I love him, Pop.”  
James had no doubts about how his son felt about Alex. He had seen it countless times since he’d flown down. Once Scott cared about you, he’d move mountains for you. That was the kind of man he was.   
“Finish that and take off. I’ll keep an eye on him.”  
“Thank you.”  
James watched as Scott made his way into the house, then turned his attention back to the boy his son was in love with. In spite of the workout, he still looked defeated. That had to change. Alex deserved to be happy and healthy.


	5. Finding Family Chap. 5

Scott was both surprised and disappointed at how things had turned out. Alex had taken the arrival of his parents in stride, while the therapist had been told, politely, to see herself out the front door. After almost an hour of calming the storm that was his boyfriend, Scott, with the help of James, and Alex’s parents had managed to at least get him to sit down with Dr. Ross. The glare Alex kept shooting his way promised payback, though and Scott knew Alex and his damn overactive brain almost never forgot anything. 

So, here they sat, Alex, Dr. Ross, and himself, staring at each other while Alex, the stubborn jackass, refused to utter a single word. Instead, he had gone pale, pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped long arms around himself, and placed his head on his knees effectively ignoring the giant elephant in the room. Finally giving in, Scott moved to sit on the coffee table in front his lover and ran his hands up and down those toned arms and legs whispering assurances to the distraught man as he did. 

“Babe, you’re not dealing with any of this. You don’t eat or sleep. You run and swim constantly. You’re in the gym downstairs more than you’re not. The nightmares haven’t gotten better. I just want you to be okay.”

“I am okay. I’m always okay.”

Scott sighed and glanced up at Alex, waiting for those soulful eyes to meet his. When it finally happened, Scott felt his heart break all over again. So much sadness and pain in just one gaze. It just wasn’t fucking fair. Alex deserved every happiness, not this.

“You don’t always have to be okay. Sometimes, stuff happens that rocks your world, shakes you to the core. You’re allowed to breakdown and lose it, babe. You’re allowed to be upset over this.”

“But it’s been days. I should be fine.”

Alex rubbed the back of his head with one hand while gripping Scott’s with the other. 

“Why am I still a wreck, Scott? Why can’t I just get over it? I’m supposed to.”

Scott reached up, bringing his boyfriend’s forehead to meet his, wanting to be as close as Alex would allow.

“Alex, no one said you had to be fine with any of this. You’ve experienced a serious trauma; physically, mentally, emotionally, so much like an earlier experience that your nightmares are fusing together making you relive both horrible experiences all at once. No one would be alright after that, babe.”

“Scott, the therapist is still here. I’m losing my shit and she’s sitting right there!”

Of all the absurd things about this day, that was not something for which Scott held any concern. He didn’t care if the damn Queen of England was sitting there, letting Alex get comfortable enough to talk was his priority, fuck everyone else.

“I don’t care one iota about her or anyone else right now. I love you. You are the only person on my list right now.”

“Yeah, but now she knows how fucked up I am.”

“Oh, babe.”

Scott slid into the overstuffed chair next to Alex and drew the taller man to him, holding him as Alex figured out what to do next.

“Alex, listen to me, babe. You were raped and brutalized twice in less than twenty years. No one would be okay after that. That’s why she’s here. To help us all of get through this, because I’m guessing the first time you just buried it hoping it would go away. You can’t do that again, though. Too much has happened now.”

Scott laced his short fingers together with Alex’s longer one and brought the hand up to kiss the knuckles before he continued.

“I love you and will not let this destroy us, or you. You just have to trust us to get you through it. And we will, babe, I promise.”

“But my parents. Your dad. They shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Your father isn’t going to want you to be saddled with…with me, and I can’t even imagine what my parents must think of me.”

Rubbing the quaking shoulders, Scott looked up at Dr. Ross pleading with her to give him anything. Advice, meds, more therapy appointments, he didn’t care. He just wanted Alex to be happy and healthy.

“Scott, I’m going to leave some instructions on the table. I’m assuming you want a standing appointment. Let’s say every Monday morning, 10:00 am and every Thursday afternoon, at 3:00pm?”

“That works.”

Scott held Alex as Dr. Ross stood to leave. He would call her later, after Alex had calmed and figure out the next steps they could take to set about righting Alex’s world again. Now, he just needed to be right where he was.

“I’m sorry I can’t be different, Scott. I want to, I do.”

“Stop with that bullshit! Right fucking now!”

“My baggage sent the therapist fleeing.”

“No, damn it! It did not. She’s trained to deal with these situations.”

“You should have just left it alone. I would have been fine.”

“So, you could just bury all of it again and never actually deal with it? God damn it, Alex when I find out who made you think you had to do that, I’m going to sock them right in the mouth!”

Alex buried his head in his boyfriends’ shoulder and took slow deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. With Scott’s hand rubbing his back and his heart beating beneath Alex’s hand, the calm he sought was not hard to find. He was safe here. He was always safe with Scott.


End file.
